One day I've met you
And it wasn't planned at all.
Yet we easily clicked together
You've accepted my friendship
And so did i on you...
In such a short period of time
Your friendship means a lot to me.
You are my dear friend &
You are so special to me...
When you're sad, I'm affected.
Because i have learned
to love you much, & for that
I let you know me more ---
More than anybody else,
That I have became close with.
Honestly, i find it strange
Cause i cant explain how?
Nor do i know why?, either...
But still I've let you know me
through whats on my mind
And what's inside my heart.
The hidden emotions that,
I've kept from other people ---
I've allowed you to know, somehow.
You've known me like no one else does.
Ever since, i have known you
I can't seemed to hide ---
any secrets from you...
Which is unusual of me,
Cause i actually am not use to
Spill everything out to my friends
What's inside my thoughts.
Most of my friends then, complained.
That I'm unfair & mysterious.
Before you came into my life,
I have never let anybody know me,
Like the way you're knowing me now...
I don't want to feel vulnerable.
For me, my emotions are mine
To deal with & certainly not yours.
Yet with you, i can't seemed to
Refrain myself from telling you
without you even forcing me to...
It's like i have known you
All my life, even if i just
Met you not too long ago...
And i like to know you more.
But the more i want to know you
Even better each time we talk,
the more i seemed to make things
harder for you and i messed-up.
The more I'm being transparent w/you
I somehow seemed to spoil your day
And pisses you off, unintentionally.
And i made you mad at me, instead.
It's like my being impulsive
On things that i would say of you,
Usually gets through your nerves.
And as your friend, it hurts me.
I feel like i don't have the right
To just speak up what i felt,
What i thought of you and ---
Most especially, i shouldn't
get hurt by your cursing words
when it comes to things about you.
Cause i might only make you
Angry and be annoyed at me...
I don't want me to be the reason
for you to feel bad that way.
I don't want to cause any pain on you
Because of what i would like
to say or do, next time...
It's actually hurting me
each time, I've irritated you.
By the things I've said, that
i didn't really mean to...
I don't know how to know you ---
Even better anymore, without
Causing any damage in our friendship.
Without you getting mad & hurt,
--- because of me...
I love you my friend,
You are so dear to me...
But i just don't know how
to be a better friend for you.
For that, i can't afford
Pissing you off, of me.
I don't want to keep ---
Making you feel bad in any way,
only because i messed-up
with my words again and again.
I can't afford to be one
Of the reasons why you're mad.
Cause i definitely don't like
how I'm makin' you feel
When i mess-up on you...
So I'm thinking from now on
I better off control myself,
From knowing you even more...
I think you're right, i shouldn't
Expect too much from you...
So, i will try to keep
my distance from you,
even if it will hurt me so badly.
For i know, it will hurt me more,
When one day will come ---
that, i might not be able to
understand you like the way
I'm doing now, same as you're
Trying to understand me.
i also don't want us to come to
a point where both of us,
won't be this patient with
each other and regret after wards.
So i'd rather be hurt,
Than hurt you my friend...
For I'm only a person who also gets mad
When I'm already deeply hurt. 
Note: Posted in blogstream last April 18, 2009
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